Not usually a fan --

Of New Years Resolutions but I figured it was time for some changes. Honestly, I would have made the following changes if it were June. It was just time but it just happened to be January, so what the heck.
Although the following are just a few of about 83 goals I have set for myself, my world will not fall apart if I do not succeed on my first try. These are things that I have struggled with my entire life and I don't see any huge miracles happening anytime soon, so here it goes.

1. Me time. For those of you that know me well, know that I am always making time for other people. I think I get this from my mom who has spent her entire life taking care of our family and not concentrating on improving things about herself. I love my mother dearly and there are tons of things about her that I hope to be like one day BUT her ability to make time for herself is not one of them. Whether its taking an afternoon nap, a hot bath, reading a book, exploring new photo options or doing a craft project (because I want to NOT because I have to). I want to make more time for Suzie.

2. Now, this does not mean that all of my wonderful friends and family should get the shaft. I want to do a better job about staying in-touch with those people that love me for me. I have been known to bend over backwards for so many people that may not appreciate it. I want to devote my time to the people that I feel wanted around. Those people who are thrilled to see me as much as I am to see them. And although we don't talk once a week, they still try as hard to see me as I do to see them. I've let this beat me up in the past. I've let my feelings be hurt WAY too many times to count.

3. On the same note, I have to stop letting so many little things get me down. Life is short. I can't let petty fights between friends and family ruin my day. This one is especially hard. I love so many people in my life. I have a huge heart and I let a lot of people in that are capable of doing hurtful things. Its hard not to get involved and try to support those that you love. I need to learn to do this without letting it eat at me but also not seem like I don't care, because I do. I have to face the facts. Friends grow up and grow apart. Family quarrels are what they are.

4. Things are not always going to happen on my timeline. I need to remember that God is in control and while I can make decisions that change certain things in my life, ultimately everything happens when its meant to happen. I am a very hardworking and anxious person. I want my photography business to flourish immediately. I want people to love and appreciate my work as much as I do. I just have to realize that these things will come with TIME. I can't beat myself up because a wedding I really wanted didn't choose me. Its a competitive field and I can't dwell on it. I can only brush myself off and brainstorm ways to market my business to the best of my ability. I CAN DO THIS. I WILL DO THIS. Those are the things I have to keep repeating to myself over and over and over. The same thing goes with starting a family. I want it so bad (this is not a secret to those of you that know me). However, with Brad working full-time and getting his MBA and me working full-time and running my business, It would be hard. Brad and I have to be on the same page. It's important that we are. I will need his help when I'm as big as a blimp. It wouldn't be good if he had class and so much studying to do while a baby is waking him up at night. ....Although my dad always brags about working full time and getting his MBA while he had 2 small children.

5. The usual. I need to do a better job of taking care of myself physically. Exercise makes me feel so much better. Its obvious. Its not about losing weight (although that would be nice), its about relieving the stress. Since the first of January, I have also started drinking less caffeine and less red wine. This is a really big deal if you know me and at times, it hasn't been pleasant. I am still drinking both. Actually, as I write this, I am drinking a half sweet/half unsweet tea from CFA. However, I really wanted french fries when I ordered this tea and got a salad instead. I have been running a few times per week, walking during lunch and doing my toning exercises. Amy and I also plan to join a gym with classes within the next week.

6. Be thankful. With this world always at war, the millions of jobs lost, the sick, the hungry, the mourning. I am thankful for everything that I have. People who love me & support me, a roof over my head, food on the table, a good job, a loving husband, a healthy family (I didn't say mentally healthy, ha). No seriously, I am going to be more thankful for what I have. I will always work hard to achieve more but I will try really hard to not have those "sorry for ME days" that I've been having lately.

I guess this is long enough...but I could go on. I hope all my friends and family know how much they mean to me. I love you all dearly. And to Brad - I am stronger because of you. You bring out the best in me. You are my everything and I can't wait to see what this life of ours, together, brings.