Consistent Inconsistency

I think the only thing in my life that is consistent these days, is the inconsistency.
This does not include my wonderful husband. Don't get me wrong, we have our issues, we are not perfect but he is my only Constant.
I know. I know. That doesn't make much sense to most people but it makes perfect sense to me.
After a weekend away at the beach with the "skinny minnies", I decided I need to make some changes. (Summer, please take those fatty pictures of me off your blog. haha. thanks).
These are things in my life that are inconsistent --
Working out
Eating healthy
My Job
Cleaning my house
Being Positive
Finding "me time"
My faith in God


The first two are obvious. I have weeks where I workout several times a week and then the next week, ill work out once. Ill have weeks where I eat great and then Ill have 2 weeks in a row that I hardly cook. Somedays I enjoy my job and other days I almost walk out of the building with the intent of never going back. Sometimes there are days you could put my house in Southern Living and there are other days it belongs in the show Clean Sweep. I have days that I think my life is "so hard" and then I see what hard lives really are and I thank God for what I have. I rarely ever find time for "me". I never sit and read a good book anymore and I rarely think about the "things I have to do today" with including something just for me. And last but certainly not least, I doubt God. I doubt Him because I see all of these amazing people around me with difficult things happening in their lives and I ask ...WHY? Why can't 3 of the most incredible women I know not get pregnant. Why do bad things happen in good families? Why do children get sick and why do marriages fall apart?

Getting away for a few days helped me put a lot of things into perspective.
My self image needs major improvement. I can't have a healthy relationship with my husband and the rest of the people who love me unless I have a positive self image -- and that, I do not.
In order to have this positive self image I need to make me time, work out conistently and eat healthy (while enjoying it and not making it a "chore").

I should be greatful that I have a good job. It pays well and Im good at it. It is not what I want to do the rest of my life (insert DREAM of having my own photography business here). BUT - it is a GOOD job which is more than a lot of people have.

Speaking of JOBS, cleaning this house can be a 2nd job. I need to learn to not let the small things stress me out. I personally think I have done a better job of this lately but there is still room for improvement. However -- this does not mean I will slack off on the cleaning. It only means that I will prioritize what "needs to be done" vs "what I want to be done".

I need to be more positive. I need to not sweat the small stuff and I need to remember how lucky I am. I will work on that!

lastly, I need to remember that God has a bigger Plan -- larger than any plan I can put in my planner. Some people I love are struggling and I hate it that I am not able to help them & make things all better. I hate it when I can't help the people I love. I hate not knowing what to say & how to say it. So, I will try to remind myself that God is all-knowing. This has been hard lately. I just don't understand why bad things happen to good people.

I also don't understand the difference between bathroom cleaner & kitchen cleaner. I swear its just different labels on the same product. haha.

No seriously, thanks for listening to my rant.
If you are still reading, you are really bored! Im sorry!

Ok, time to go run now! Aren't you proud?