Something is Missing

Im not feeling too hot today but I wanted to get this post on here or it is very likely that it will not make it up later this week. Im not sure if my body is just exhausted or if I am coming down with a horrible cold. I had an emotional week because Brad's great aunt (Aunt Hannah) passed away on Wednesday. She was like a grandmother to Brad and we all loved her very much. You may have heard me talk about 'Aunt Han' before. If we have a girl we have always said that we will name her Hannah Marie -- After Brad's Aunt Han and my Mom's mom (Marie).

I have been debating on whether or not to blog about Aunt Han passing away because I know that I cannot choose the words to express what she meant to me in the short amount of time that I knew her. I wish Brad and I were closer to his family and its especially difficult at times like this. I know we made this decision together, to live in Atlanta, but I wish we could have the best of both worlds and live next to both of our families. Sometimes I feel guilty about taking Brad away from his family. We will not be able to make the funeral tomorrow and this may be another reason I am sad today. In my short life, I have not had to deal with the loss of many loved ones. For this I am thankful but I know that as I get older, I will have to learn how to deal with this loss. All I know right now is that I feel like something is missing. Its so hard to believe that Brad and I were going to be visiting Aunt Han in less than a month. I know Brad is sad that he cannot make the funeral tomorrow and that he cannot be there to support his mom and family. No wife likes to see her husband hurting. This had been hard but he is strong and we all know that Aunt Han lived a long, wonderful life. There are so many people that love her. A combination of exhaustion and sadness but either way, I think I may go to bed soon...and its not even 9:00.