Stages of Love

I know this next post is going to be really long and so if you don't want to be bored, you can skip it. This is mostly for my reference and I really want to have this speech in my Blog Book...if I ever finish it! This IS NOT exactly how I said it because I ad-libbed most of it.

First, of course, I thanked everyone for being there!

I read recently that there are stages of love in a marriage. While reading these stages I thought of my parents and how they have managed to tackle 40 years together!

The first stage is BLISS, that whirlwind at the beginning of a relationship where the other person is perfect. Your heart beats with that anxious pitter patter when ever they are around, you think about them constantly and they truly can do "no wrong" in your eyes. When my dad tells the story of his first date with my mom, he says that he knew mom was the one he would marry! About a week after they met, Dad went over to Mom's to eat pizza. Those crazy northerners like to drink milk with pizza (or maybe that was just mom) but either way Dad claims that he made mom laugh SO hard that she blew milk & PIZZA out her nose. Mom's story is slightly altered and she says it was JUST MILK. Either way, Dad was won over!

The next stage of love is OPPORTUNITY. A couple in love will take any opportunity they can to further their relationship and plan their future together. While dad was at aeronautical school at Embry Riddle, he 'supposedly' wrote mom love letters. Now, I haven't actually seen these love letters but I 'hear' they are very romantic and they wooed mom into marrying dad. So now we know that won over mom! We knew it had to be something extra special!

Still another stage of love is UNCONDITIONAL or SACRIFICE. This is the point when a couple asks themselves, WHAT IN THE HE** HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO???
I would say a huge sacrifice my dad made was when he ate a tuna fish sandwich everyday at lunch to save money. Mom would pack his lunch every morning before work. My mom would leave him a little "gift" in his lunch. My dad's coworkers would gather around the lunch table and he had to succumb under the constant taunting. Eventually, my dad would come across the "gift" that my mom left him...as he pulled out one of her hairs from the tuna fish sandwich.

You are probably thinking at this point that I am running out of stages but I could go on and on (this is where my brother called from the other room...NO!...haha. Thanks Sean). MEMORIES. Raising 4 children is no easy task and in doing so brought years and years of memories for my parents. Most of the were good and I am sure there are several that were bad and fresh on their minds. Luckily, I was an angel and never did anything wrong so this made it a lot 'easier' on my parents!

Finally, a stage that I probably shouldn't mention is SECRETS. Everyone has their secrets but, being a newlywed, I wanted to know the secret to 40 years of marriage! I also thought this would be a great addition for my speech. So, I called my mom a couple of days ago.
"Mom, what is the secret to 40 years of marriage??"
She does not hesitate and answers in one word "Travel".
I said, "That's it? Just one word? Not traveling as a couple or dad's gazillion business trips and the time that gave you to be by yourself?" Nope. Just "Travel".
I was expecting something like separate rooms, forgiveness, patience or even ear plugs.
The same day, Brad and I went over to Mom & Dad's for dinner. My sister Chrissy and her boyfriend, Jeremy, were also there. I decided to hear what Dad had so say (I know, I know. Im brave!).
I asked him. "Dad, what is the secret to 40 years of marriage??" he looks at me with a smirk on his face and answers in one word. "Travel".

My parents did not talk about my question to mom earlier in the day nor did they discuss this topic at any other time. I must have laughed so hard that I almost fell in the floor. I couldn't believe they both answered with the same ONE WORD response!

Although my parents didn't give me this explanation, I took their identical one word answer to mean that the secret to being married for 40 years is being on the same page. ...and Brad and I are planning a trip really soon! ....just kidding!

So lets raise our glasses -- not only to Perry & Maureen and their 40 years of marriage BUT to the stages of love!

Mom & Dad, thank you for everything you have done for the 4 of us. I can only hope that Brad & I are half the parents that you've been to me.